I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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