who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I supernannyed him into submission
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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