Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Randomize
