i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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