Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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