I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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