Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
