oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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