I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
