If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
