I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I want a musical about memes.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
