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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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