the condom got lost in my hair
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
