is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
