U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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