Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
