Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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