Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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