the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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