is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
