I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
