After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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