I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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