Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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