dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
