i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
