There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
