I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
