I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
