White coat. Heels.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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