she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
