Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
