drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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