the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
True strength comes from lack of pants
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
