that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
