Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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