Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
