I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's shark week go big or go home
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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