Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
