i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
