i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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