just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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