I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
