if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Randomize
