You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
