he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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