the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
