is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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