Sry I called you an 8
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
