i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
