im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
